Liberating the Crazy Wise Woman
“Without first questioning the health of society, what is the good of helping misfits to conform to society.”
— Jiddu Krishnamurti
Visionary Paintings by Hilma af Klint
What if we could strip away all the belief systems given to us by society? We would see what is with clarity, not fragmented parts that behold part of the truth. The truth brings all the parts together, without alienating one or the other. I grew up in a post-Christian society where liberalism and atheism took the place of religion. In a strange way, scientists and doctors became the new priests. "They must know better than me," is the repeated relational dynamic I see. I can see value in the roles and professions, including many years of in-depth study and research. However, no one is entirely superior to another. Isn't it clear that individual health is influenced by society?
As I let go of my role as a therapist, my life is changing rapidly. I am faced with the fears that accompany uncertainty. What if I can truly embrace my whole self? Hiding has been my coping mechanism since the beginning. It has kept me safe from cruelty and criticism. I have decided to break free from the self-imposed limitations I put in place because I feared being misunderstood by others. Over the years, I have begun to let go of the excess layers of clothes and add a rainbow of colors to my wardrobe. Finally, I have come to accept my misfit nature.
Misfits belong to themselves, not a specific group in society. At first, I thought it would be a lonely path, but I was mistaken. The quirky ones love to gather and create by staying true to their nature. I guess it is part of our human nature to gather. Maybe there is nothing wrong with misfits in society. They serve as bridges of culture, deeply connected to the natural and dream world. What if we stop focusing on what is wrong with people and begin to see the gifts inherent within their quirky nature?
Gathering with a group of beautiful, expressive, and curious women for a week in the North of the Netherlands helped me realize I had annihilated the wild child within me. After embarking on a profound spiritual journey at 18 years old, I no longer resonated with the party scene. I began to gravitate towards a healthier lifestyle with nourishing foods, mindfulness practices, good nights of sleep, and regular physical exercise. By the age of 20, my party days were behind me, and I thought I had made peace with it. I judged my past self and peers for not knowing better. As the saying goes, I threw out the baby with the bathwater.
Yes, if the party girl had taken over my life, it would have led to chaos. However, by eliminating her from my life, I had swung the pendulum too far in the opposite direction. I forgot to enjoy the simple silly moments, allow myself to be crazy, break the rules, dance until sunrise, and celebrate life. I became too critical of myself and others. My creative fire became dimmed by responsibility, and I often lacked the energy to create art as a result. Now, looking back, I can see clearly: the wild child within reminds me to dance, experiment, and let go of the pressure of society. She lives as if every day can be her last, and there is so much beauty in that.
The wild woman is the one who is wise. She is not careless but cares deeply about what is real and true to the heart. She refuses to change herself to fit in. She understands that what others think is beyond her control. When you set yourself free from control, you free others too. True freedom emerges when we let go of how we think life should be. There is no need to convince others of the truth we see. What other people “should” do is none of your business. Embody the truth so others can see the magnificent change that grows from its roots. Over time, your tree of wisdom will grow more fruits so you can share your unique medicine wherever you go.
The ability to shapeshift and view life from different perspectives makes the wild feminine so powerful. When you become the witness who sees the situation you are in from above, your perspective changes. We need to step out of our comfort zone to truly know ourselves. It takes courage to shift long-held belief systems that kept you safe in the past. Can you set your voice free? Imagine your voice is a bird and all thoughts and beliefs about what you can and can’t do form a cage around you. You might stay in the cage because you are protected from the danger of criticism and attack out in the world. What if the door of the cage is wide open, would you have the courage to fly?
The secret of the crazy wise woman is simple: she possesses the courage to fly. Her willingness to take risks is essential. It’s the leap into the unknown that brings dreams to life.